Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Always have some diet soda available when throwing a party.

Please note, I said, soda, not pop. I don't care how long I live here, With god as my witness, I will never call it pop.

(Knock on the door)

Me: Hello?
(Men dressed in dark suits with dark glasses are at the door.)

Them: We hear you are refusing to use the word pop. Is this correct?

Me: Whaaaa???

Them: Is this correct?

Me: Yes, yes it is.

Them: Then you need to come with us...

Me: But, but....I'm a true Washingtonian...I know that the state fruit is the apple, the state mammal is the orca...the state fabric is fleece (right?), I'm a frequent and habitual voter in both state and county elections....I make mean faces at people that smoke within 25 feet of buildings...I don't understand...Wait, did former Rep. Richard Curtis send you? He never really liked me....

Them: Sorry, but we need to take you in. We have places for people like you...

(A short time later)

Them: Here, you deal with her.

New Them: Welcome to Oregon. So we hear that you are refusing to say the word pop. Is this correct?

Me: Ah, crap.
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