Monday, March 31, 2008

Keep your passwords safe

"Hey!" my lovely husband instant messaged me, "Want me to integrate that computer doodad with that other computer doodad to make your life easier?"

"Umm, sure, yes!" I instant messaged back.

"Ok, I just need your password." he said.

Now, I had recently upgraded my password to a high security, multiple digit, chock full of letters and hieroglyphics password and thus, had written this complicated password down on a post-it.

I walked to the room next door, gave my husband the post-it and went downstairs to take a nap. I was beat from last week, and it is often safer for all involved if I just go take a nap.

Three hours later, my husband woke me up to tell me that dinner was ready. As we ate, he explained what he had done to my computer (I will spare you the details.). Then he casually mentioned that had shredded the post-it that had had my password on it.

"What!?" I said, "You shredded my password!"

"Well, yeah." he said, I didn't want anyone else to get a hold of it."

"That was my only copy! Who the hell did you think was going to break in to the house in the last 3 hours in order to steal my password!" I yelled (but in a very constructive and loving way).

He looked at me, then went upstairs, opened up the container for the shredder and starting picking pieces out.

To his credit, he was able to piece it back together, figure out the password and save the day.

However, we obviously need to get a better shredder.

Friday, March 28, 2008

Not everything is dishwasher safe.

Ok, I've been a bit distracted lately. I will have been at 5 4 events this week.

PDX Black Book Party
Alumnae Meet The President Event
BarCamp Meetup
Beer & Blog: Starring Scott Kveton (VP of Open Platforms at Vidoop and lover of all things bacon).

So, I'm a bit distracted. However, being A.R. and all, I was very careful to try and keep the house clean (in the little time that I was actually home).

So, I ran the dishwasher. Now, some of you may not know this, but I actually dated an honest to god, plastics engineer, for a while. He and his friends would "entertain" me by telling me what the different numbers meant on the different plastic types and how you should treat each one. Apparently, none of that really stuck.



I'm betting it isn't microwave safe either.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Figure out who you are sitting next to before you start making snarky comments.

My alma mater has a new president and she's been touring the country meeting with alumnae. Last night, she was in Portland. After the initial chit chat and viewing of blueprints for the proposed college building developments, we sat down to hear the President speak.

I'm not going to say what snarky comment I said, but I will say it did somehow involve Wild Salmon (Yay! Eco-Trust). Anyway, after I made my semi-snarky comment (not about the President) they announced that the man on my left was indeed, the husband of the president. Ooops.

But I am not really that worried.

1) He looked a bit like Robert Redford. RR is always nice. (See: The Natural)

2) He is from Boston, and Boston is the capital of snark.

3) After hitting 3 states in 3 days, I think he was too exhausted to even notice me. (He did however, notice the crab cakes. Quite a few times, in fact.)

And no, I'm not going to tell you where I went to college, I don't have time...I'm meeting CamiKaos for lunch.

Monday, March 24, 2008

Upgrade Your Undies

It's time to upgrade your undies, when:

1. It looks like the dog has been chewing on it
2. The dog has actually been chewing on it
3. It is not lifting, separating or reducing what it is supposed to lift, separate or reduce.
4. When Oprah, Rachael Ray, and The CBS Morning Show, all mention it.

And speaking of upgrades, have you seen the new Treasurelicious web site yet?

See the newest treasures! See the hottest people and see everything, everything, BIGGER!

Seriously, go check it out.

If you don't absolutely love it, well, then you must be dead.

Friday, March 21, 2008

Open all your mail.

My point:

Open all your mail because sometimes your credit card statements look like junk mail.

My jokes:

Because you might get this:

(Yay! Thank you Holly! But there was no chocolate in the box*. Hey, there's Welly, as seen on Cami's blog!)

or this:

(This Jesus prayer rug will go great with my crown of thorns mirror! I'm supposed to mail this back with a check to the Crazy Screwed Up people, but instead I mailed it to Holly. Is there really a difference?)

and finally:

(This postcard is an invitation to celebrate Easter at a local church. Ummm, no thanks. Postcard to recycling bin.)

*at the time this photo was taken.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Tap in to something good.

I've been hearing radio announcements on Kink 101.9 fm, that the Tap Project is going on this week in Portland. Now, the name is a bit confusing, so I thought I would dispel some rumors about it.

The Tap Project is not about:

(Wire tapping)

And even though it is in Portland, it is not about:

(Tapping a keg)

And as much as you may want it to be, it is not about:

(Wanting to make sweet, sweet love to someone, aka "I'd tap that!")

It is in fact, about UNICEF providing children around the world with clean water. This week, March 16th-22nd, when you go to participating restaurants in the Portland area, you will be asked if you would like to pay for your tap water.

You know, the water that is usually free...anyway, perhaps it is the price of gas, or the fact that I just did my tax return but it seemed crazy to pay for something that is usually free.

But, then I read that just $1.00 can supply clean water for one child for 40 days. I'm meeting Cami Kaos and Dr. Normal tonight for dinner. So if the restaurant we go to is involved in the Tap Project, I'll be saying, give me a dozen!

I doubt I will even miss the money, since our tap water is apparently full of happy drugs.

Monday, March 17, 2008

Enjoy some Pi.

Pi day is celebrated on March 14th. (Again, just like Helvetica, these things do in fact exist, I am not making it up!) On this day, geeks around the world (especially at MIT) celebrate the symbol for the ratio of the circumference of a circle to its diameter. (You still here? Did I lose you? Hang on it gets better...)

Every good Pi celebration includes, well, pie.

Rhubarb, apple, pear, cherry, peach etc. March 14th is also Albert Einstein's birthday, so I suppose you can also have some birthday cake on Pi day.

Looking for a laugh? Go ask someone how they celebrated Pi day. Act shocked when they have no idea what you are talking about and then sit back and enjoy the feeling of knowing some geeky thing that others don't. (Unless of course they read this blog too.)

(Did you forget to celebrate? It's not too late. Send a e-card!)

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Be nice to your mother

Now CamiKaos has recently posted saying: Never listen to your mother, but I say, be nice to your mother. Why do I mention this? Well, because as it turns out, I was not nice.

A few months ago, my sweet Mom called me and asked me if I wanted to come over to watch a movie.

"It's called Helvetica." she said

"Isn't that a font? You are going to watch a movie about a font? Umm, no thanks Mom, I think I'd rather stay home and watch a movie about things people find on the bottom of their shoes. It's called Soles, yeah, that's it."

Later on that night, my husband came home.

"Guess what!" I said "My mom invited me over to watch a movie about a font!"

"Do you mean Helvetica?" he said "Oh, I've heard that is a fantastic movie! Did you go?"


I'm sorry Mom. I'm sorry for assuming that the movie was some obscure documentary about boring things. Now that I know that it is possibly a new cult classic, I kick myself for not seeing it before it gained its fame.

Now I'm just a pathetic follower. No one likes a pathetic follower. But at least I know that you will still like me. You have to. You're my mom. Isn't that what you promised when you signed my birth certificate?

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Share the love

Tired of my Treasurelicious list? Looking for inspiration for yours? Check out these fine lists:


(Please comment when you have your widget installed and I will add you to the list!)

Get yours here.

Monday, March 10, 2008

The Bigger The Better

Televisions, beds, swimming pools, chocolate bars and diamonds. The bigger the better, right? Well, we've taken that concept and applied it to Treasurelicious. Now, when you hover your mouse (mom: that means hold the mouse over, without moving it) over the images in the Treasurelicious widget a larger image will pop up.

=====> ===========> ===================> ===============>

How sexy is that? Very.

You know you want it.

Get it here, make your list and add the widget to your blog or website. Stop reading this and go get yourself some sexy!

Friday, March 7, 2008

Celebrate every day as if it were your birthday.

Dapoppins, Avery, Loveyh and their cute kids* threw me my first ever Chuck-E-Cheese birthday party** (it was my birthday) yesterday. And as I was driving home, it occurred to me that you shouldn't wait until your birthday (which was yesterday) to treat yourself well. You should live every day like it is your birthday (mine was yesterday). Rather than waiting all year (March 6th) to do something special, you should treat yourself well every day (not just yesterday, my birthday).

The recent report of Patrick Swayze's illness*** (People Magazine's Sexiest Man Alive for 1991) reminds me again, that we really should make sure we have the time of our life.

*Hugs and kisses for keeping Chuck-E-Cheese occupied and away from me at all times.

**Don't worry, Avery has footage of the event that she is excited about embarrassing me with.

***I'm happy to give him my pancreas if he needs it. I'm not using it.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

There is nothing wrong with the word vagina.

Dear Oprah and Shonda Rhimes,

I am not sure which one of you started this trend, but I am deeply offended with your shows' (The Oprah Winfrey Show and Grey's Anatomy) frequent use of the term va-jay-jay. While I'm not offended with you mentioning that particular body part (it is after all a wondrous thing) I am offended that rather than using the proper term, vagina, you are using a pretend word that sounds like some deranged cartoon character.

Female genitalia has been celebrated for centuries. Witness the paintings of Georgia O'Keeffe, the passion of Eve Ensler's Vagina Monologues ,the groundbreaking The Dinner Party art installation by Judy Chicago.

Even Microsoft is getting in to the spirit. Have you seen the recent design on their bluetooth notebook mouse?

(Oh, was that not intentional?)

In conclusion, please help show woman and girls everywhere that being female is nothing to be ashamed of. Uncomfortable with the real thing? Start off with a Vulva Puppet if you have to and work your way up.

Please respect your vagina. You only get one. Be proud of it and call it by its proper name.


(Many thanks to Josh Bancroft for alert regarding the bluetooth mouse.)

Monday, March 3, 2008

Don't start a collection.

If you'd prefer to park your car in the garage or not pay a monthly fee for a storage unit, I suggest you don't start a collection. What seems like fun at first often turns in to a dust collecting burden. And please, please, don't start scrapbooking. A friend once showed me all the accoutrements she needed in order to make her books. Yikes! I got the creepy crawlies just hearing about it.

Stuck with a collection that you don't know what to do with? Pick out three items that you love and toss the rest. Take a big breath and enjoy the extra space in your home and less weight on your shoulders.

Rather than collecting things, collect memories.

(Please note, this advice does not apply to ex-husbands, nasty in-laws, stinky siblings or annoying friends. I'm pretty sure it is illegal to put them in the trash.
Although, you certainly can try.)