He silently handed me this:
Thinking nothing of it, I put it my cart, went about the rest of my shopping, paid and headed home. The real problem began when I opened the box. Now I can't stop eating these damn things.
High fructose corn syrup? Bhah! Pretzel on one side! Cracker on the other! It's brilliant! Brilliant I tell you!
So I have joined a 12 step program.
The only problem with the program is that the snack cabinet is exactly 12 steps away.
"Missburrows," you say, "you are silly. Just put them 13 or even 14 steps away."
But frankly, I've stopped listening because I am doing this:
(My loyal blog readers will realize that there wasn't an actual elf at the store. If there was, I would have been out of there faster than you can say, well, elf.)
16 comments:
I've never tried them... Keep them FAR from me... like 62 steps or so.
I am so glad I live in the UK. :o
That's meant to be a shocked smiley. So I suppose it should be called a shocky.
TONS of people have told me how amazing they are... And this is WHY WE HAVE NONE!
oh my BOB! i want them. you tell that elf to get his shiny metal ass over here or kiss it goodbye.
I am pleased that there are no large handed characters stalking you. Those crackers look yummy. Have you ever read Frog and Toad? They had trouble with cookies...
I love pretzels by the way. In Reno, Nv, there is this resteraunt that sells pretzel bread sandwiches. The bread, Is just yummy like a brown pretzel, not those sweet butter wanna-bes at the mall but a real normal pretzel. So good that is all I can remember, not even what is in side of them.
I could do without the snacks, but I am especially glad there are no elves there, too. Otherwise I could never set foot in the Northwest!
Ick.
Good luck with the program (backslider)!
Hey, I know that elf! According to some blog hubbies (coughmr.kaoscough) my boyfriend works with him.
I've had them, they are SOOO yummy! Especially if you put cheese on them.
unrelated to you sweetie... but
lilac: I love it when people call Mr. Kaos a blog hubby... so cute
camikaos: Sure, I'll bring some over the next time I see you. No problem! :)
jo: I laughed, but I'm not sure why. Hmm. Must of been the shock.
misty: Oh good, then there will be a whole bunch of us at the weekly meetings.
holly: I never noticed he had a metal ass. It looks kind of green actually.
dapoppins: I loved Frog and Toad. And now I hate you. All I can think about are pretzel bread sandwiches. DAMN YOU!!
sybil: I didn't say there aren't any elves here. We also have lots of fairies.
lilac: Can you please tell him to stop putting all the drugs in them please. Thank you.
bubblewench: I have yet to pair them with something. But I need a new box. :(
cami: Hey,that isn't allowed here! Don't look at me like that. I'm not scared of you anymore!
I wish someone at my grocery store would put something in my cart...heh. Don't tell Stu.
OH, so now you aren't scared of me... is that so... what if I break your husband's fingers WITHOUT asking first?
Is that scary?
Dood. That IS the most terrific snack In The World!!!!
They are sooo good!
GF
Stay away from the chips at Chipotle Grill. They are laced with some sort of lime / crystal meth mixture. If you get out with only one entire bag consider yourself one of the lucky.
Good luck with your deprogramming.
-Stu
stephanie: Do you need a wing (wo)man? Is that the problem? I'm available!
camikaos: Nope, not scared. :P
meleah: I know! and I am OUT OF IT!! NO! NO! NO!
gunfighter: I know. It's quite devilish.
stu: WHERE WERE YOU SEVEN YEARS AGO? Too late, Stu! They got me a long time ago.
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