For your pleasure: 4 great reasons to masturbate, plus an extra special 5th reason.
1) You can't get pregnant when you masturbate.
2) You can't get/give a Sexually Transmitted Disease, or a Sexually Transmitted Infection when you masturbate.
3) No one knows you the way that you do.
4) You don't need to clean the house, get new sheets or wear sexy lingerie in order to impress yourself.
AND
5) Stimulate the economy and yourself by having a "vibrating lunch" (aptly named by CamiKaos). Have lunch with friends, then go to your favorite sex toy retailer and use your "economic stimulus package" to buy yourself something that will make you forget about the high gas prices for a while.
Ok, hop to it, you've got 25.5 days left!
18 comments:
Those are all good reasons but the nuber one reason should be:
"It feels great and I know exactly how I like it."
-Stu
I love it when I get to name stuff.
What about mutual masturbation? Can we do that too?
funny, I don't see anything in your treasurlicious list that goes along with this topic.
okay for starters, you are dead wrong. i absolutely do have to impress myself. i needs me some sexy lingerie. or i just ain't playin'.
must we "hop" to it? really? is it safe?
stu: Did I not say that? Oh, I guess not. Please consider this #6 then.
cami: Like, for example, Megatron?
lilacspecs: Oh yes, please do. Just make sure to wash hands and such to avoid #1-2
jmartens: Panties, PANTIES, PANTIES! (is that better?)
holly: Wow, I always thought you were easy, I guess you had me fooled. ;)
that gives me an idea!
A Treasurlicious clone for 'adult' treasures...toys, lingerie, etc.
I'm gonna be rich, buhwahaha!
Truly one of the joys of life...for both men and women! Hey I've been masturbating since I was 12, am 67 now and still doing it regularly. I ain't blind or crazy (yet) either so I guess my mom was wrong. Even though this is the official National Masturbation Month and we should all join in the festivities, may it always be May in your pants. More I cannot wish you my friends! Cheers!
the 8th of may is outdoor fornication day...
I suppose we could make it outdoor masturbation day....
Nice! I thought your vibrating lunch suggestion was going to be dirtier.. :-o
Great post!
Yeay! Now I have a month and a list of reasons to get down with myself!
xxoo
Wow, they have a month for everything now. Hope the vibrating lunch was fabulous.
I love having plans!!!
jmartens: no one said you can't put those things in your Treasurelicious list. Fill yours up with panties, if that's your thing.
mike: yes, i should have mentioned that there is no reason to stop the celebration when may is over.
mielikki: why does no one tell me these things. *sigh* i'll go schedule that.
talina: oh! that's a good one too! feel free to make up your own definition.
meleah: there ya; go!
jo: oh, it was. i still have the after glow from it!
sybil: i love giving people plans!
Sadly, my stimulus check went towards unprotected sex with a vagrant.
jake: Wow, way to get f#$@ed by the government.
am i really going to be the only person to say something like "I'm going to go stimulate MY economy to celebrate national masturbation month" or "i stimulate my package every day"?
is that too easy or just not that funny?
Where have you been? The month is almost over? You'd better get going!
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