Thursday, June 26, 2008

Step away from the computer

*Updated! See the bottom of the post!*

When I started this blog back in November 2007, I really didn't think about meeting people. And I really didn't realize how many bloggers lived within 30 minutes of me. Since then, I have met 4 bloggers off-line and in real life, and today I will meet another. (Clarification: I have met 4 bloggers that I met on-line through blogs and then met them in person. Total amount of people I have met that blog is probably 50.)

So far, I'd say I'm 4 for 4:

Avery Gray:
She didn't like my flash cards but introduced me to Wii.

She opened her home to me but did almost deck me with her Fiesta Ware collection.

She became a bit of a stalker, following me around with the camera the whole time.

I used to be terrified of Cami. Then I met her. Now I can't stop laughing at her.

And today I meet


So, If you never hear from me again, please at least leave some comments on her blog asking her to return me. Thanks.

I'm not sure if "Badmom" is a proper name for Stephanie. I think it should be NaughtyMom. After sitting at Whole Foods for about 3 hours (and using most of George Carlin's 7 dirty words you can't use on T.V.) we finally parted ways.

Only, to meet again the next day, with Cami Kaos in tow. Tag sales were hit, purchases were made and laughs were had.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Try adult movies

I like to see how people find my blog, so I have a service called BlogPatrol that logs visits: the countries people come from (Hello Czech Republic!), what sort of browsers are being used, and what search terms have been used in Google or Yahoo in order to find my blog. Every once in a while I go through them, to see what people are looking for. Sometimes my blog post answers the question but sometimes it doesn't, so I thought I'd answer some of the questions now.

scared to buy vibrator

It's ok to be scared. Going in to a (typically) dark and dingy store can be very intimidating. I suggest you look around on the Internet first, do some homework in to what you actually want to buy and ask your friends for recommendations of adult stores in the area that might be more friendly and welcoming to you.

Start by reading this fantastic material by How to Choose a Vibrator:

porn makes you gain weight

I'm not a doctor, but I would think that watching porn would have the same health risks as watching anything on T.V. or on DVD, or on the computer. The more we sit inactive (often eating unhealthy food) the greater the chance we will gain weight. And if you want to actually try and attempt some of the moves you see in your movies, you will want to be flexible and light on your feet.

I hope that I have been helpful to my dear anonymous readers that were searching for answers.
But now I'm wondering if there are any health clubs that would show adult movies on their T.V.s while people work out. Hmm...interesting hook to get people in to exercise.

Fear of diabetes and death isn't motivating people, why not try adult movies!

Friday, June 20, 2008

Put your brain to work

There's been a lot of hub-bub lately about keeping our brains young. Games like Sudoku and crossword puzzles are supposed to exercise our brains and help us stay sharp.

Well, last week, I came up with a way to keep my brain sharp and do errands at the same time.

Normally, I go through the grocery store from right to left. Well, this time, I went CRAZY and went from left to right! It took a bit longer, but it really did make me use my brain.

So now I am trying to figure out what others things I can do in a different way, to make my neurons fire.

And if you are laughing at me because I am so orderly and anal that I usually always go from right to left when shopping, then I say to you, "OH WELL, I GUESS YOUR BRAIN WILL JUST TURN TO MUSH!"

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Create a shrine

**Updated for your enjoyment below**

I thought I'd let you in on a little secret of mine. Whenever I am about to go to a big event I set up little shrines around the house. They are for people I am hoping to meet, hoping to talk to or even just stand next to.

Ignite Portland 3
is tomorrow. So today, I took out my candles and set up some shrines. I'll let you know how it works out!

First off...

Dawn Foster: high priestess of all things Tech. in Portland. (And not a werewolf.)

Nate Angell: who interestingly enough, took his wife's last name. (Sounds pretty shady to me. Overcompensating perhaps?)

(Photo of Nate, by Scott Kveton)

Scott Kveton: but only if he brings bacon. Otherwise, he's a bit meek for my taste.

(Photo of Kveton, by Josh Bancroft)

David Beckham-Burrows

Hey, a girl can dream, can't she?


It's 8:00 am, Thursday, June 19th. I only saw 50% of the people I made shrines for. (But thankfully, it was the good people: Dawn Foster and Nate Angell.)

Martin and I held court with The Kaos family, with occasional breaks to run through the halls of The Bagdad and quite a few trips to get food. I even had my first beer last night. Well, beer chip, close enough for me.

If you are in town for the next Ignite, I highly recommend you go! I just suggest you don't sit behind myself and CamiKaos, she was really obnoxious.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Use what you have

I admit it, I forgot that Father's Day was coming up. The cell phone/car/mattress commercials usually start so far in advance of a holiday, that I didn't even give them a second thought. So there I was, at Kohl's, looking at a huge Father's Day sign when I finally noticed that Father's Day was THIS SUNDAY!

Then I realized that my Dad will be out of town for Father's Day. So, I thought I'd send him a Happy Father's Day card via my blog.

(I'm very resourceful. Did I ever tell you that I was a girl scout?)

Here we go...

Happy Father's Day, Dad!

I love you!


Thursday, June 12, 2008

Don't be mean, and don't be average

Yeah, the title of this blog post makes me a little ill too. Oh well. What's done is done.

Moving on...

So there I was reading the highly intellectual, of the moment magazine, Glamour. I came to a page that states, "Is your body normal?" (July 2008, p.98)

So of course I took a peek.

It states:

The average woman's bra size is: 36C
Nope. Apparently I am both above average (band) and below average (cup).

The average height of an American woman: 5'4"
Which makes me an amazon, and makes Holly and CamiKaos deliriously happy.

The average woman's shoe size: 8
So close! I am a 8 1/2!

The average weight, in pounds of a woman in her thirties: 163
Again, nope. But not horribly far off.

So now I'm sure you are wondering, "Missburrows, what, if anything, is your point here?"

My point? You want to hear my point? Ok, here goes. All of the above is certainly interesting, but if we continue to compare ourselves to others, we lose sight of who we are and what we are made of.

I don't want to be average and I bet you don't either.

Monday, June 9, 2008

Pick your six

I recently read in my Title Nine catalog, how the founder, Missy Park, recently read an online magazine which asked folks to submit their biography in six words.

She gave some examples that her staff did:

Lived life in 90 minute increments-Renee, Marketing

Work smart. Play hard. Sleep well.-Sarah, Web

So, since this is one of my favorite catalogs (most ladies aspire to be a Victoria's Secret Model, I want to be a Title Nine model), I thought it was a great idea, and I am always on the look out for great blog material, I decided to do it myself.

Laughed. Explored. Inspired. Connected. Loved. Learned.

Ok, your turn!

Friday, June 6, 2008

Use proper birth control

I thought that I would make you, my dear readers, a handy little list of proper birth control methods. Feel free to print this out and keep it with you at all times.

Birth Control:
The Pill

Not Birth Control:
The other pill.

Birth Control:

Not Birth Control:
Condoms that you left in your wallet for 2 years.

Birth Control:
The Ring

Not Birth Control:
An engagement ring.

Also not Birth Control:
Crossing your fingers
Douching afterwards with something (including Coca-Cola)
Jumping up and down after
Not feeling like you might get pregnant
Drinking lots of alcohol first

Hey, I just realized that if you are in fact trying to get pregnant, you can just do the opposite of what I suggest!

It's two posts in one! Woo hoo!

(But please don't douche with anything, that's just a bad idea.)

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Toot your own horn

No, this post is not about this.

It's about letting people know that who you are and what you do is neat-o.

Steve Woodward from The Oregonian recently did a lovely article about Twitter. Rick Turoczy, the person he was interviewing, asked his friends to tweet, so I did. And I made it on the front page of the online article.

(Well, my tweet and avatar did, anyway.)

Read the full article here.

And then, the gracious CamiKaos invited myself and Martin to come do a special Tech. edition of the Strange Love Podcast.

We explain the history of Treasurelicious and talk about some of the treasures currently listed. You can listen to it, here.
(It is about 33 minutes and safe for all ages.)

All good stuff. Thanks for visiting.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Keep an open mind Part 3 of 3

Rachael Ray is currently under fire for filming a Dunkin Donuts commercial in which she wears a scarf that has been called "offensive."

Oh, here she is:

(Yes, that is the Oregon State Capital building in the background.)

You know what? I totally agree.

How dare you Rachael Ray??

How dare you wear a similar scarf on April 12, 2008 on an episode of your show?

How dare you wear another scarf on April 23, 2008 of your show?

Oh, is that not what people are offended about?

They should be.

Frankly, I'm not sure which is worse, the fact that she wore so many ugly scarves, or that fact that I noticed it, looked through all her old TV episodes to find the evidence and now feel vindicated.