Friday, June 6, 2008

Use proper birth control

I thought that I would make you, my dear readers, a handy little list of proper birth control methods. Feel free to print this out and keep it with you at all times.

Birth Control:
The Pill

Not Birth Control:
The other pill.

Birth Control:

Not Birth Control:
Condoms that you left in your wallet for 2 years.

Birth Control:
The Ring

Not Birth Control:
An engagement ring.

Also not Birth Control:
Crossing your fingers
Douching afterwards with something (including Coca-Cola)
Jumping up and down after
Not feeling like you might get pregnant
Drinking lots of alcohol first

Hey, I just realized that if you are in fact trying to get pregnant, you can just do the opposite of what I suggest!

It's two posts in one! Woo hoo!

(But please don't douche with anything, that's just a bad idea.)
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