Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Steam it up

Martin have I been married for 8 years...or is it 7? I think it's 7. Yes, 7! Plus 2ish years of dating, so that's nearly a decade of being together. So when I saw a listing in Glamour magazine of "Hot Flicks". I figured we would have seen them all already.

So, I started to read the list:

The Other Boleyn Girl
(Well, no, we haven't seen that, but that just came out...last February.)

Atonement
(Nope. Didn't see that!)

Prime
(Again, nope. Probably waiting for it to get to the "old releases" section of the video store. Oh wait! Yes, we did see it! But it obviously isn't very memorable.)

The Notebook
(Yes! Well, not really. We saw it on T.V. The last hour of it (plus commercials) and I loved it until the END THAT WAS HORRIBLE.

Unfaithful
(It doesn't sound like it ends well...so no, haven't seen it.)

Amelie
(Our friend wouldn't shut up about this movie, so I guess we never bothered to go see it.)

The Thomas Crown Affair
(I think it involved a briefcase. I'm not really excited by briefcases.)

Shakespeare in Love
(Yes! Yes! I saw this one! It was lovely! It was great.)


(Oh, I saw it with a different guy...not Martin. Does that still count?)

That's the list. If you think I should go back and see one of the movies, let me know and I will see if I can find it on Hulu.com.

Monday, July 28, 2008

Set up a Grill & Kill

Even though I was dead to the world and sick as a dog last week. I had one bright shining thing to look forward to. A reason to get better, a reason to live!

Toonlet & CamiKaos & Dr. Normal were coming for dinner!

Well actually they were coming over for a Grill & Kill. That's when we grill up some food and then try to kill each other's bunnies by playing, Killer Bunnies.

If you haven't heard of Toonlet, they are the masterminds that let you create your own comic strips and publish them on your blog, web-site etc. Oh, and they also recently graced the cover of Oregon Business Magazine.



But not only did we get the toonlet boys, we also got Seth's wife, Missy (I like to call her Mrs. Toonlet) AND her Toonlet-in-utero!

After a tour of our house and about 15 minutes when I lost Dr. Normal, Seth and Craig in the garage because they were looking at Martin's oscilloscope and ham radio electronics, we got down to eating. I got to sit at the Toonlet table and was even more excited when I found out that all four of us were originally from the East Coast!

Then, it was time to get down to the killing. I'd say the best kill of the evening was when Craig wiped out Missy's four bunnies in one move.


(Clockwise: K, Martin, Missy, Seth, Craig, Cami Whats-her-face and Dr. Normal.)

We even had K help us out with the directions.


(Please note the doll in Martin's lap. It was there for most of the game.)

I'll admit that the game took longer than it should have, but everyone had fun and after some brownies and cupcakes it was time to call it a night. Especially since they all had to make the long drive back from Vancouver, WA to Portland, OR (it's about 15 minutes).

So, do me a favor and go make a cartoon on Toonlet and tell them that Missburrows sent you!

Also, if you live in the Portland, Oregon area, please come out to the Sundae in the Park to see Dr. Normal playing live! It should be a fantastic time!

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Urine for some fun

Ok, originally this was going to be a post about how dehydration can cause your urine to turn brown and that you should continue to drink water until it become clear again...but that just isn't as interesting as this:

FOODS THAT CAN CHANGE THE COLOR OF YOUR URINE

Red: Beets, blackberries, rhubarb
Orange: Carrots, winter squash
Yellow: B Vitamins
Green: Asparagus

(Please see full article from Mayo Clinic here.)

Something to sing while you are on the potty:

Monday, July 21, 2008

There is nothing to be ashamed of

CamiKaos and I recently went to see author, Melissa Lion, at Booty Call: 5. She recited a particularly naughty story. One that made us laugh and ooh and ahh, all at the same time.

Since it was a girl's night out, CamiKaos and I dressed up a bit:



Since Cami had her iPhone, she started taking pictures of us.
And she send them out via Twitter. Someone commented, "What's with all the boob shots? some troll out on the Internet will find them and satisfy himself..."

and this comment, made me mad. But I couldn't figure out why. So I thought about it. I talked to Cami on the phone the next day, I thought some more... and I responded:

"1) they were on display already 2) i was asked permission 3) i refuse to be ashamed about how i choose to display my body. :)"

and he responded back:

"thanks for splaining me...you are beautiful in the best ways"

But I am still mad. But not at him. Why am I mad?

Because if you go to the supermarket, you see this:



and this...



Breasts are everywhere. Daytime T.V., movies, ads...EVERYWHERE!

And mine, at least, are real, attached to real woman's body. A woman that is smart and creative and strong.

The world thinks it owns my breasts, can dictate what I can and cannot do with them. Can dictate what they are supposed to look like, bounce like, feel like, where and how they can be used to breast feed..and if they had to be removed for some reason...that I would somehow be less feminine.

What is this power the world has over breasts?

Well, you know what world? Fuck you! They are mine and I will do with them what I please.

Friday, July 18, 2008

It's Ok to be shocked: Part 2 of 2

I am hoping you have recovered from listening to the Camp Naughty Strange Love Live podcast.

On, we go...

We had our campers, we had our food and then we all trampled downstairs in to the Strange Love Live pod casting room. One by one, each camper answered our questions. Even the goofy, "What's your favorite thing about CamiKaos and Missburrows?" one. The one that someone thought was silly.

We really thought we would get absurd answers like, "Your eyes are as blue as the bluest lake in all the world" or "Your toes make me want to fall in love again." But instead, we got, real, honest answers. Answers that shocked me (see? the shocking!). Why? Because the things that my dear campers said, showed me that people were understanding the person I was trying to be. And that rendered me speechless. For a bit anyway.

We wrapped up the podcast and continued to eat, drink and giggle the night away. Things were said, things were shared, things I'm not going to tell you because you were not there!

People started to head to their tents. I had previously demanded that CamiKaos and I sleep in different tents. Even when she tried her puppy dog eyes on me. No dice. (I thought it would be rude.)

But by the time she got to her tent:



She realized all her tent mates were sleeping. She looked over at us in the other tent:



and said, "Wow, Missburrows sure has a big air mattress. And you guys are all still awake..." so I broke down and invited her to sleep next to me. Big mistake. Every time she moved, I moved. I had to wait for her to get her kicks bouncing me around and then finally we realized everyone but us were asleep.

I don't remember if I said this out loud, but I know I was thinking, "Holy crap! We did it!"

Next time, we hope you can join us. Because there is no way we can stop now.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

It's Ok to be shocked: Part 1 of 2

On April 28, 2008 (Yes, of course I wrote this date down.) CamiKaos and I were sitting at Springwater Grill, in Sellwood, Oregon when we created, Camp Naughty.

We sat at the table, thought of things we would want to do and wrote it down on the brown butcher paper that covered the table. It sounded great to us, but we wondered, would 5 other women who really didn't know each other want to come?

Well, on July 11th, 2008. They did.


First, we had Giddy, all the way from California. CamiKaos and I stood at the airport waving the Camp Naughty sign. About 500 other people saw it (and commented) before Giddy made her way toward us. (Apparently, she had needed to use the ladies room.)


(CamiKaos and Giddy)

We dragged her off to Burgerville for her first meal in Portland. I don't remember if we even asked her permission. (Although, she did ignore my suggestion that she get a shake.)

Around 6 pm, we did a quickie podcast with our International Camp Naughty campers: Holly and Jo.

But, soon after, 7pm rolled around and our other campers started arriving:


Badmom (The only one on time!)


Joleine (Who brought fabulous penis cupcakes!)


Mediachick (Who brought yummy cake.)


Verso (With her brand spanking new iPhone 3G.)

The tents were ready


the food was eaten and then it was time to Podcast. For me, this was the most shocking part of Camp Naughty...but not for the reason you might think.

If you haven't already listened, you can listen here, but please note, it is for adult audiences.

To be continued...

Monday, July 14, 2008

Take All The Time You Need

I'm a bit exhausted from Camp Naughty, so I don't have a post about it for you yet.

I'm sorry. I'm sore and a little traumatized from the things I saw and learned about our campers. Will post soon. Until then, please feast your eyes on CamiKaos and I before Camp started:



Friday, July 11, 2008

It's nice to be naughty

It seems like naughtiness is just everywhere this weekend.

I'm not here right now, I'm helping CamiKaos set up the camp grounds for Camp Naughty.

Since it's an exclusive event, you probably weren't invited (so sorry). However, you can join us in some of the festivities by watching the live stream of camp here (starting at 8:30 pm on July 11).

Another naughty event going on this weekend, is Booty Call: 5. Although not affiliated with Camp Naughty, it seems like the perfect way to end a naughty weekend.

And let me just leave you with the fact that you can see naughtiness in almost everything around you, if you just care to stop and look...



(This is the new Gillette Venus Embrace.)

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Exercise, damnit!

(My last post was a bit long for my taste, so to even it out, I'm gonna give you a short one.)


A study conducted by the University of Texas at Austin found that when women biked or jogged for 20 minutes, they had greater sexual response than when they didn't break a sweat.

(Self Magazine, July 2008)

So stop your whining and get moving!


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Just a reminder, that you can join CamiKaos and I and 5 other bloggers at Camp Naughty, this Friday, July 11th.

Monday, July 7, 2008

If you need to eat a lot of ice cream, bring your whole family with you.

I may or may have not mentioned it, but I have quite a large family. Although I only have one brother and one niece, I have (wait, I need to get some paper to do some math) 14 cousins (including their spouses).

With that many cousins, there are many things to celebrate: weddings, babies, successful business ventures, promotions, job changes, travels to distant places... but we as a family, have a new accomplishment to be proud of.

This past weekend, my brother, Ryan and his daughter (who live in Olympia, Washington) flew down to San Francisco to visit with some of our family and while there, competed in the Marin County Fair's, Ben & Jerry's Vermonster contest.


(Yes, I do realize that Ted's label is in black, while everyone else's is in blue. He was the mastermind behind the outfits, so he gets a different color. Now, shush, and keep reading.)

What happens in a Vermonster contest, is that teams have to finish a 3 gallon tub of Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream. But it also has various food items mixed in: brownies, cookies, etc. The first team to finish, wins.

So here are the "cow boys" that joined together in an attempt to win the contest:



And you know what? They won. They finished the tub in 2 minutes 9 seconds. I'm both proud and horrified, and really, really, hope that Naomi videotaped the whole thing.

And since I'm such a sweet sister, I'd like to show you one more photo:


This is my brother. Have I mentioned he is single?

It is also his birthday on Saturday. Happy birthday Ryan! (I'm guessing you aren't going to have any ice cream with your birthday cake.)

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While we won't be having a ice cream eating contest, Camp Naughty is this weekend July 11-12th, 2008. Please come check it out (online and streaming live).

Friday, July 4, 2008

There is only one hole in your body where you should put food.

I will elaborate with some photos:









I'm sure that now you are laughing or at least giggling to yourself, thinking that I am a nut. But, ladies and gentlemen, I am serious. Food should only go IN your mouth. This includes all food not just the phallic shaped ones.

For example:





Feel free to put these things ON your body but not IN your body.

Unless of course you enjoy the hell that is a yeast infection or don't mind being sedated while a doctor removes food that has been lost in your internal cavity.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Celebrate your independence


No, this will not be a blog post full of American flags, fireworks and apple pie. If that is what you are looking for, I apologize. (No, I don't.)

Lately, I've been getting a lot of requests from different on-line sites that want me to become an affiliate. This means that I put up a link on this blog, to their site. If you, my readers, purchase something from that site. I make money.

Many bloggers do this, some even make ends meet this way, but I have decided that it's just not right for me. When I mention something that I think is great, it is because I have personally used it. I'm not going to refer you to something that I have no experience with, even if it might make me money.

I may change my mind, I don't know. But for now, I don't want to be "owned" by anyone but myself.