Thursday, August 28, 2008

Diamonds are a girl's best friend

or hearts, or rectangles, or ovals...

The other day I decided that I needed to know what face shape I had. I told CamiKaos about my desire, so she joined me (via Instant Messaging) to find out what her shape was. We looked at Flickr photos of ourselves, even studied the photo strip we had taken together months ago. But finally, after much internet searching I found a site that actually helped.

We decided that I am a diamond and she is a heart. (It's good to know she has one.)

Now why would you need to know such a thing as the shape of your face? Well, it's good for picking out eyeglasses, sunglasses and for knowing how flattering a new haircut will look. Which is what I did, the next day.



I think I made out pretty well.

Friday, August 22, 2008

Father Knows Best

Ok, raise your hand if you know that my Dad works at Ecotrust.




Good. You've been paying attention.

When I was little, I used to tell him how much I loved him and then ask for something (most often it was for some sort of pet). Well, last week, he returned the favor. He was hoping that you, my loving, adoring viewers would help him out with something, he and Ecotrust believe so strongly in.

Ecotrust is competing for a piece of $2,500,000 that American Express
has dedicated to non-profit projects that are nominated by members and
non-members. The goal is to make it into the top 25 by the deadline of
September 1 when card holders will then vote for winners.
Our project is called "Yum" in their contest and will involve getting
organic fruits and vegetables into early youth programs such as Head
Start and daycare centers.


Organic fruits and vegetables for kids! What could be better!?

To nominate this project: click HERE and then click on the Nominate this Project button (directly below the picture of the baby eating the book). At that point you will be asked to register and then to nominate YUM.

(You can also get there by clicking on the widget I just put up on the top right of my blog.)

I know that signing up for something is annoying, but I really believe in my Dad and in Ecotrust, so I would really appreciate it if you would consider nominating or even blogging about nominating the Yum project as part of the American Express Members Project.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Go to your prom

CamiKaos never went to her prom. I don't know why. She was probably stuck at the tattoo parlor. So, when the Anti-Prom announcement came, she badgered me and badgered me to go with her. She promised me flowers, chocolate, even chicken salad sandwiches.

So, today we go shopping for attire. We will be hitting the trendiest boutiques in Portland, OR: Goodwill, The Salvation Army and perhaps the clearance rack at Nordstrom.

While we are out busy trying on dresses (or being distracted by shoes), I thought I'd show you some of my past prom pictures. Enjoy.


(This is from 1992, I'm with my best friend, Becky. I have no idea who my date was.)


(This is from 1992. Although, Eric Hoyt is pictured (Hi Eric! Aren't you glad you googled yourself!) he was actually my friends date, but because school was so far away, we switched dates when we got there. I still can't believe my Mom let me sit on the edge of the couch. That's a big no-no.)


(This is in 1993, my date, Kevin ?, is actually the same guy I went to the previous dance with.)

So, the Anti-Prom, is August 30, 2008 and we hope you join us.

(I'm going to need help carrying CamiKaos home.)

Monday, August 18, 2008

Don't delay gratification

Many months ago, I attended my first geeky/blogger networking event in Portland, OR. I was immediately welcomed and attended to by Melissa Lion. I did not realize that the Melissa that was sharing her yummy fries with me, was actually a two time published author. Once I realized this (weeks later) I ran out and got her books








(Ok, fine I got them from the library. I don't buy books unless they are reference books.)

I cracked open Swollen, devouring it in one afternoon. But I realized last week that poor Upstream has been sitting next to my bed, unopened for weeks. Melissa has not written another book and part of me doesn't want to stop hearing her lyrical words in my head.

Then, last week, I was invited to another event in Portland: BackFencePDX, which is the brainchild of Melissa Lion and Frayn Masters.

CamiKaos and I went to her local consignment store where she found a dress (that her husband will probably not let her leave the house in) and I found some lovely shoes: black and brown with black applique work on the side.

Even though they were on sale, even though I could walk in them, even though they fit...I left them at the store.

Then Cami and I went back to her house and got dressed up for the event. We were ready early, so I quietly asked her if she knew what time the store closed. We left her house quickly, hi-tailed it to the store (which was closing in 10 minutes) I ran to the back, grabbed the shoes and plopped them on the counter: $10.69.






I changed in to them in the car and off Cami and I went.

Realizing that it's silly to delay pleasure, I cracked open Upstream the next day.

Friday, August 15, 2008

Tally it up

Dear Readers:

As you may or may have not have noticed, the poll has closed.

Thanks for voting. Your votes are very helpful in determining the future path of the A.R. and Proud blog and will be taken in to consideration as I labor over each and every post. (Yeah right. Whatever...)

Apparently, most of you either have a secret crush on me, or are my mortal enemy.

and I'm betting there are some of you that are both.


So, to bend you to my will even further, I present to you a photo of me when I was 14. Right before I was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes (Happy 19th Anniversary, diabetes! I hope it's ok I didn't buy you anything.) and the subject of my post: Sometimes there's never enough.




(And yes, I do look way too thin.)

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Surround yourself with politicians

Martin and I moved here to Vancouver, WA about 5 years ago. It was 2 years after that, when I was volunteering for Planned Parenthood of the Columbia Willamette and going to see my legislators in Olympia, WA on a regular basis, when I realized my State Representative, Jim Moeller, was actually my neighbor.

(Hi Jim! Don't worry, my ballot has been sent in!)


The Mayor of Vancouver, Royce Pollard. Or, "squiggly bulb" as I call him (for his strong desire that everyone replace their regular light bulbs with CFL bulbs, lives around here too).

(Hi Royce! Don't worry, I won't tell the Mayor that I saw you jaywalking. Oh wait, I guess I just did.)

And now, I just read in the Vancouver Business Journal that another politician will be one of my neighbors. Do you remember all the construction going on near my house? Well, apparently, Vancouver City Councilman, Tim Leavitt, has bought one of the lots and will be building his house there.

(Hi Tim! Does these mean we might actually get stop lines painted on the roads now?)

But not any old house...a green house. A LEED (Leadership and Environmental and Energy Design) Gold level building. The house will be first be used for tours and workshops before Tim occupies it in 2009. While the thought of more cars and people congesting up our street does not thrill me, I am trying to think positively. Martin says that having a councilman thisclose to our house will keep the neighborhood all nice and shiny, and I just keep thinking of all the money I can make selling lemonade and cookies (organic of course) to the tour groups.

While I applaud Tim for wanting to build green, for being brilliant at getting local companies to fund part of the total cost of his house, and for saying "I felt it was time to actually walk the talk." [Quote from Tim Leavitt, in The Vancouver Business Journal.]

I know of some that don't care how green, recycled, sustainable, organic, environmentally friendly, solar, hydro, or hybrid he makes his house.





YOU DESTROYED OUR HOUSE. WHY COULDN'T YOU LEAVITT ALONE?

Monday, August 11, 2008

Sometimes there's never enough

I was 14
it was the summer
and all of a sudden
there was never enough

Even away at camp
no matter how many times I left the cabin
there was never enough

It consumed me
this need
this desire
I never stopped to think, to question
I just did what my body demanded

And now, at 33
I've learned to fake it
It's not natural, what goes inside
but it makes me happy, makes me better
but I worry that there will never be enough


Melissa Lion asked me ever so nicely if I could write a blog post with the subject: never enough. And because, sometimes, I follow directions. I did.

Please come join us on Wednesday, August 13, 2008 for the latest edition of BackfencePDX.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

There will always be a bigger penis

My husband is on vacation this week, so somehow, I was tricked in to seeing three recently released movies based on comic books:

The Dark Knight
Iron Man
The Incredible Hulk

*There will be plot spoilers in this blog post. Consider yourself warned.*

We saw The Dark Knight on Monday night at a regular style multiplex but saw Iron Man and The Incredible Hulk as a double feature (only $4!) at the Kiggins Theater in town. As I sat there sitting through the last 1/2 of The Hulk, I realized that the movies all had similar themes:

The female characters have very distinct roles:
They all have long hair, usually wear dresses or skirts and are either being carried (Liv Tyler) or are carrying stuff (Gwyneth Paltrow).




They often look scared, often scream and are all good at soothing their particular savage beast. The bravest one by far was Maggie Gyllenhaal, who stood up to the Joker. But they killed her off soon after.



If you think I was disappointed by the chauvinistic portrayal of the female characters, ding! ding! you are correct.

It's all about the size of their penis:

Yes, that's right. I realized you could sum up all the plot lines this way: they fight because they think the other dude has a bigger penis.

The Dark Knight
Batman:
My parents were killed when I was young, and I worry I have a small penis. That's why my codpiece is enormous!

The Joker
:
I'm not even sure where my penis is, but I sure am glad my Dad didn't want to make it smile!

and then they fight


IronMan

Iron Man: I have to have sex with lots of women to prove that my penis is big. I will build a suit out of gold so that every part of my body will look bigger.

Iron Man Enemy dude
: How dare you make yourself look bigger. I will make my suit/robot thing EVEN LARGER so that I will look like I have the bigger penis.

and then they fight


The Hulk

Hulk: I didn't choose this, but look, my penis does get pretty big. And green. Yippee.

The Abomination
: How dare you look all big and veiny. I will take medicine so that I look even bigger and veinier because I am getting older and am sad that my stamina isn't what it used to be.

and then they fight


But the funniest part of the evening came when I got back from the snack bar. Martin had made best friends with a guy that had been sitting next to us. This sweet old gentleman used to work for the people with the worst penis envy of all: The Presidential branch of The United States Government.
He used to fly Air Force One.

Update: Apparently, my attempt at telling men that their penises are fine the way they are was not clear enough. So I will try again:

STOP WORRYING ABOUT YOUR PENIS. IT IS LOVELY AND DOES NOT DEFINE YOU AS A PERSON.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Find out why

According to my blog counter, I've just hit the 5,000 unique visitors mark. (Yay! Toot! Toot! Yipee!)

So, I know why I blog, but I thought it would be nice to know why you read this blog. I have put a poll up, where you can vote (it should be over there somewhere ========> ======>).

And while you vote I will vote in the Washington State Primary.

PS-Feel free to leave a blog comment if you don't feel the poll options describe what you wanted to say.

Friday, August 1, 2008

Recycle 'til it hurts

No, I'm kidding. Please don't hurt yourself recycling. However, here are 3 new ways to recycle things that you previously thought were just plain old trash.


1) Recycle those caps.

No, not hats. You can recycle those easily enough by giving them to a friend or sending it off to a consignment store or thrift shop. I am talking about the caps that come on plastic bottles, that we usually have to throw away since the recycling companies won't take them (in the USA).

Well, now Aveda, wants them. I'm going to start collecting mine and will bring them to a nearby Aveda salon (and hope that they don't throw them all back at me).

Find out more: Recycle Caps with Aveda.

2) Recycle your old electronics.

Don't let your old electronics gather dust, or worse, end up in a landfill.
Go to MyGreenElectronics, put in your zip code and a handy list of recyclers, their locations and what they will accept will pop up. Once you've gotten rid of your old stuff, there will be much more room for the new.

3) Ditch your Crocs.

I know that there are many people who hate Crocs, or at least think they should be restricted to gardening or just be for children.

So, the good news:
You can now recycle your Crocs! Yay! Death to Crocs!

The bad news:
They grind them up and make them in to NEW Crocs and then distribute them in poor countries.

I really feel bad for the people in 3rd world countries. No food, no water, and now...ugly shoes...full of holes.



(I'm kidding, I think Crocs should be applauded for their sustainable efforts. I would however, push them to try and use more than just 25% recycled material, and I also suggest they link from their Crocs site to their SolesUnited site. But, then I am know to be anal about these things.)