Guilt trips lead nowhere

(But it does give me fodder for a blog post.)

I was using StumbleUpon to find interesting web sites. So, I just took the Earth Day Footprint Quiz. I think of myself as fairly environmentally friendly. But when I got the results, the quiz said




*GASP* 6.9 planets! What the hell? I've been bringing my own bags to the supermarket for the last 7 years! Before it was cool! Back when the baggers used to roll their eyes and yell at me!

But, but...I drive a car that looks and performs more like a golf cart! We buy those squiggly bulbs just like the major says to!

So I quickly went to TerraPass and filled out the Carbon Footprint Calculator. This was better, if I pay $30/year I can offset the carbon emissions I create with the car.

Ok, so here is the plan. I'm happy to do what I can to help the environment. I will spend that $30 plus another $20 and go get a massage.

That will definitely improve my environment.

Learn to take rejection

The city that I live in is technically in Washington State. The state of Oregon is a 5 minute drive away. We are often referred to as a suburb of Portland, Oregon because we are so close. We don't have our own news station, we have to share with Portland. It is a weird predicament to be in. I think that Emma, Loveyh and Avery will agree with me.

I was rejected by ORBlogs.





They say I have to physically be living in Oregon in order to participate. Even though if I stood in front of my house and stretched out my arm, I could probably put it in Oregon.

Well, fine, ORBlogs. Then I will boycott Oregon.

Ha! What do you think about that? You don't want me, I don't want you!

Well boycott, except for the fact that Martin needs to go to work in Oregon every day and we are supposed to meet friends at FOTM for dinner this week, my parents live in Oregon, my doctors are in Oregon, the major international airport is in Portland.....fine, fine....

I won't boycott Oregon.

But the whole time I am in Oregon I will be thinking of Washington.





Update: Three seconds after I finished this post, I got an email from the lovely Paul Bausch saying that he didn't realize which city I lived in and that my city counts!
Yay, Paul and ORBlogs!I wasn't rejected after all!

Although, once he sees this post he may want to reconsider.

Sit next to the bagels

I was at a BarCamp Portland meetup last night. I was there to meet some like minded folk and to talk about Treasurelicious. After standing and mingling for 30 minutes I decided to take a seat. We were at Jive Software and their break room is always brimming with food and drink.

I sat down next to a huge tray of bagels. Throughout the night I talked to some really cool people, including Raven Zachary of Portland On Fire , Dawn Foster, and Don Park. We talked about geeky things like OpenId and as always the event was a huge success. I plan on going to Ignite Portland in February.

While I like to think that people came over to talk to me because they had been blown away by my introduction and were dying to hear more about Treasurelicious, I think it may have just been that they really liked bagels.

Not everything that your ex gave you needs to be broken, burned or otherwise destroyed

Exhibit A:



This cassette tape was the only survivor of the "Great Mix Tape Smashing of 1997". I still listen to this tape.

Exhibit B:



This is the fanciest ski jacket I have ever owned. It even has pit zips! Granted, I've only worn it two times since moving from Boston to the West Coast, but it is nice to know that if there is a ever a nuclear winter I will be prepared.

Exhibit C:




This hat was bought at the same time as the jacket. The blue color brings out the blue in my eyes. This I wear a lot. Gotta accent those blue eyes.

I also still have some baggage. I'm ready to let that go once and for all.

Make a laundry plan

Normally I wash undies, socks, and dress clothes one week and linens, towels, jammies, day clothes and such the next week. We have enough of each to last for that long and it makes it much simpler.

But today I realized that there is no reason not to let the laundry pile up.

If the pile gets big enough, I can just put some fabric softener sheets in my pockets and crawl into the pile and make myself a little cave.

I should be able to get in at least a 1/2 hour nap before someone comes looking for me.

Don't make the Kinko's/FedEx guy cry

Actually, I should back up a bit. I needed to get silver sparkily paper for our Treasurelicious hand outs. Apparently, the only place that has said silver sparkily paper is The Paper Zone, located in Portland, Oregon.

So, I trekked over there. It is a beautiful store, with beautiful paper and supplies. The baby announcement section was stocked with such sweet things that I could feel a cavity forming as I stood there.

Ok, now on to FedEx....this is what I wanted to make:



Long story short, he screwed up the print job. His face was all droopy like a puppy. He made me feel bad that he felt bad. I almost even took him over to Burgerville with me. But I didn't.

Burgerville, is a local fast-food-ish place. The Burgerville closest to the Kinko's was actually the one that we hate. It is the schizophrenic Burgerville. Although it is indeed a fast food place, this one has employees that roam the aisles acting like waitresses although they are not waitresses...it drives us nuts.

So, I got my Cheeseburger Kids meal:



You see that, right? It says "TOY". I did not get a toy. I wanted my toy. Sometimes the toy is something cool, like a bowl. I love my Burgerville bowls:




So there I sat. Torn between just keeping my mouth shut and speaking up, when here comes Betty.

"Is everything ok?" says Betty

and then I hear myself saying, "I didn't get a toy."

"Oh, my...I will go take care of that right now!" she says

So I happily go back to eating my fries, satisfied in the fact that I will indeed get my toy. The toy that I paid for. The toy that I deserve.

She walks by about 10 minutes later. She breezes right by, doesn't even make eye contact with me.

"Is she ignoring me?" I think

And then her boss sits down at the table next to me. I know that this is her boss because his Burgerville smock looks fancier than hers.

So I sit there. She cleans off tables. And I sit there. And in my head there is a little war going on. It's the shut up vs. do it for your blog readers war.

Her boss is right next to me and all I have to do is say,

"BETTY STOLE MY TOY!"

But I don't.

Ten minutes later she walks by again, looks at me and says:

"Would you like your toy now?"

And this is what she gives me:




And I think, "What the heck am I gonna do with this crap?"

No pain no gain

Last night I ventured out to our local community center to take a kick boxing class. Now, I already play racquetball with Martin 3x a week and work out at home 2x a week, but I have the tendency to get bored. So I thought I would get out of the house and try something new. I got there a little early, so I even got to use one of the treadmills.

getting to the front desk was easy
trying to pay was not
I had to restrain myself from knocking out the lady in front of me who asked questions for 10 minutes.

finding an empty treadmill was easy
learning not to push down too hard on the speed button was not
No one even noticed my shrieking. Damn ipods.

making a new friend was easy
figuring out her name was not
I'm calling her "Sweatyladytotheleftofme" until I see her next week.

making faces when I didn't understand what we were doing was easy
avoiding other people's kicks and jabs was not
I cannot believe the instructor didn't burst out laughing at me.

sitting down and resting after class was easy
listening to my male classmate tell me about how his snot was green was not
Seriously. That boy needs to work on his pick up lines.

feeling really great, invincible even, after finishing the entire class was easy
almost slipping on a wet pine cone in the parking lot was not
What are pine cones even for? Sheesh

Take a stand

It has come to my attention that some people are whining about the choconuts vs. frenemies chocolate war that has been going on since January.

Please chill out.

Did you ever stop to even think about the cool stuff that was going on?


-Holly, Avery and I were bonding in our sick twisted way

-Holly spent some quality time with her daughter. Encouraging them both to use their imagination and to find a way to express things in written and photo format.

-I found some new cool blogs via comments people made.

-Holly's blog posts made me laugh when I really need a laugh.

-I got to practice my sarcastic humor

-It became fodder for many a blog post

-I made new blogging friends

So, if you are so utterly offended, that you cannot bear to read or comment on a blog that talks about it.

THEN DON'T



My husband agrees. He just doesn't know it yet.

Update: Big hugs to Loveyh and Avery for this work of art.

The Secret Is To Know When To Stop

We went back up to the mountains on Sunday.
There was a lot less snow on the roads, we didn't even need to put chains on the tires.



It was nice and sunny and much warmer than last week. Unfortunately, that meant the place was a bit crowded.



The snow looked like butter cream frosting on a wedding cake. The sun had melted some snow, which had then re-frozen. So, it was a bit like skiing on styrofoam that had a nice coating of ice on it.

And, if for example, you happened to fall going down a hill, hit the snow really hard, so hard in fact that your ski embedded itself a few inches down in the snow, it kinda hurt. I don't have an example of what it hurt like because I refused to let myself feel the pain (those pre-ski Advils helped too). After about 20 minutes we decided that we would like to keep all our appendages attached and unbroken and headed back to the car.


We ate our sandwiches and placed bets to see how soon the others would stop.
enjoyed the sun.

Read a book before bedtime

Reading a book before bed is much more relaxing than watching T.V. Frankly, with the writer's strike still going on, there isn't much to watch anyway. If there is a show on that we really want to see, we just set the VCR and watch it the next day.

Here is what my husband is currently reading:



Wow, is that the best selling, "Fundamentals of Corporate Finance" that all the talk shows are buzzing about? No? Well, hey, it is for his class, so I guess it is O.K.

But wait there is more:



Oh my god! "Information Architecture for the World Wide Web"! Isn't Tom Cruise starring in the movie version of this in 2009? No? Well, it has a cute polar bear on it.


Gosh, I am exhausted from teasing my husband so much. Luckily he won't be home until late tonight and therefore will be too tired for retaliation.

Let's see what I am reading. Surely it is some best seller or at least one of those trashy romance novels.





Damn you choconuts!

Listen to National Weather Service Alerts

An overturned semi-truck.

Hey, Toto we are not in Kansas anymore.

A tornado touched down multiple times. In my town. Near the grocery store that I shop at.

I'm a bit freaked out.

Once I heard the National Weather Service Alert that a tornado had touched down in Clark County, Washington, at the town directly to the north of me, I turned off the computer and went over to the neighbor's house. They have a bomb shelter in their house.

Things are a bit back to normal now.

For more info:
KOIN.com

The Columbian

No injuries have been reported.

Update: They are considering this a F1-F2 (although they cannot fully determine until all the damage is assessed).

and IT TOUCHED DOWN A MILE FROM MY HOUSE!!

Figure out what your teacher likes

I have found, that beyond doing the assigned homework and showing up for class, you really should pay attention to what your teacher likes.

For example:

Mr. Bronson, my middle school homeroom teacher, liked things really neat and clean. He wanted all the desks lined up perfectly (he even had marked little xs on the floor to guide us). So, I tried to stay neat and clean. We got along pretty O.K.

Mr. Abbot, my high school English teacher stated at the beginning of the year:

I will take all your term papers, stand at the bottom of the stairs in my foyer, and throw them all up the stairs. The ones that land at the bottom of the stairs will get D's, the one at the top of the stairs will get A's.

So I made sure my term papers were always good and thick.

Mrs. Holmes, my high school chemistry teacher, really preferred that I did not constantly drop and break the test tubes.

So, on the 5th attempt, I finally just let my partner do it.



My high school math teacher, Mr. Pontech, apparently liked blond, 17 year old, female students that played softball and were willing to have sex with him.

I was brown haired, played field hockey and was not willing to have sex with him (not that he ever asked). I didn't so so well in math.

Climb Every Mountain

My husband and I went cross country skiing this weekend. We went to the South Cascades area in Washington State. Mt. St. Helens was directly to our Northwest, but the spectacular scenery makes you forget that you are near an active volcano.

The snow was light and fluffy but with 24 inches of it, it was a bit more like snow shoeing than cross country skiing. Snow shoeing. In wet sand. With cement shoes and 15 pound weights tied to each arm.

We were alone for the majority of the time and the only sounds were of woodpeckers and of me going:

Whhhhhoooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!
I'm Ok! I'm Ok!

After skiing for 3 1/2 hours and one very ungraceful (ski less) dismount from a 5 foot high snow bank, we headed back to the car. The wonderful, lovely, beauticious car. And in the car, we had this:






Ah, a yuppy lunch!

After lunch we started driving down the mountain. The only traffic we encountered was in the form of two deer standing in the middle of the road, acting very much like tourists from out of state.

Deer #1: Oh look! A Lewis & Clark historical marker!
Deer #2: Didn't we just stop at one a few miles back?

Deer #1: Well, yeah...but this is different! Lewis & Clark walked here!
Deer #2: Really? Lewis & Clark walked across this paved road? With the guard rails and everything?

Deer #1: Are you even listening to me? Lewis & Clark were here! They have a postage stamp for god's sake! Don't you have any respect for history?
Deer #2: Umm...Didn't Meriweather Lewis kill and eat Great, Great, Great, Uncle Leo and then wear him as a coat?

Deer #1: Screw Lewis & Clark...let's go find some one's garden to mess with.
Deer #2: Finally!

Eventually, we got to the town of Stevenson, WA. and headed for the grocery store. I used the bathroom while my husband got me a cup of Oregon Chai (sorry, Tazo). The tag line for Oregon Chai is



Now I am normally sceptical of advertising claims, but in this case it really was true. Hot, sugary Nirvana.

Climb every mountain, search high and low
Follow every byway, every path you know.
Climb every mountain, ford every stream,
Follow every rainbow, 'til your muscles scream.

Update: My husband would like me to mention that it was more like 44 inches of snow. In addition, if you don't get the above reference (like he didn't) it is from The Sound of Music (butchered by me).

Chocolate is not the enemy.

It's a new year, you are dying to lose weight and so you have decided to stop eating chocolate.

Don't be a fool.




When you decide that you aren't going to do something, your brain usually decides otherwise. For example, right now, don't think about an elephant.

Yeah, that is what I thought.

Rather than refusing to eat chocolate, why not have some in moderation? There are easy ways to get that chocolate flavor without all the fat and sugar.

Have you considered?

*Hot chocolate (Sugar Free or Regular)
*Chocolate pudding (Sugar Free or Regular)
*Chocolate Ice Cream treats (In the USA: Skinny Cow, Weight Watchers, Healthy Choice)
*1 oz. of European Dark Chocolate (I love Milka. It's even in my Treasurelicious list in my side bar ================>)
*Chocolate Slim Fast Shake


If you only have a little and you sit down and enjoy the experience, there really is no reason to not have some chocolate.

While you are in your chocolate induced happiness, hop over to holly's blog and tell her that you agree with me. But be nice, I'm sure she knows she is crazy but hasn't really comes to terms with it yet.

Get bowled over.

My husband and I spent a nice quiet New Year's Day yesterday. It was rainy and cold outside, so we decided to watch the Orange Bowl.








It was a bit tart for my taste, so we switched over to the Cotton Bowl.







(Yes, I realize that technically, that is not a bowl, but please bear with me, I promise I am almost done!)


Of course, next up, was the Sugar Bowl.





The sugar bowl only made me want to watch the chocolate bowl (not a real sporting event) and you can't just watch the chocolate bowl, you must eat from it.

Unlike my friend holly, I will not be avoiding chocolate in January. But I am a good friend, and do not want to tease others by showing pictures of chocolate.







See, that is totally not chocolate!

To my dear husband:
No we did not do any of this yesterday. You have not forgotten. You are not losing your mind. This was fabricated to make the readers of my blog laugh. Why yes, fabricated is a big word, thank you for noticing.